advantages of being retired

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 11-Apr-2013 13:59:30

I don't know if many zoners are old enough to even think about retirement, but even if you're not, you probably have parents, grandparents, and friends and neighbors who might appreciate this list:

They Ask Why I Like Retirement !!!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.


Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.


Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store
stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used
to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Post 2 by UniqueOne (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Tuesday, 16-Apr-2013 18:42:29

lol i can think of someone to send this to nice! haha!

Post 3 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 09-May-2013 20:13:40

good one!